A. Whole. Year.

It's honestly really amazing how time have flown by, 365 days has just passed like that since that day when we sat down and talked things out together, and when we made the decision to follow our hearts you were bounding up and down so happily towards your train home from CCK. It always brings a smile to my face knowing how that one decision never ever had to cause the hefty heartbreaking price to pay couples face in the end. This far, I truly believe in having already found the right one for me. I may be young, Beebz. But I really do hope you're the right one. 

I believe at that point in time you merely thought that it was going to be like your previous relationships where nothing was really taken too seriously. Sure, you told me there was one or two you were serious about, but I'm really really glad that we've made it this far, and that I managed to create the change in your perspective of relationships.

Remember that night when I was so afraid? Afraid I couldn't accept another role in my life, afraid I couldn't keep up to the expectations of a girlfriend or that I just wasn't ready to fall head over heels and to start anew. I told you I don't expect that the feeling between us might last more than the duration of the camp. I told you if I loved someone I will try my best to do whatever it may take for me to make things work out, that I never get involved with a guy absentmindedly or for the sake of relationship thrills. 

I was wrong about how it was only 'a camp thing'. But you know what beebz? 

I'm so so so so glad I was wrong.

How do you look on our relationship since the very first day we were together till now? So many adjectives come to my mind to describe the thousands and myriad of feelings that overwhelmed us. There were times when we were dizzy with happiness, filled with joy, or in bad times over taken by frustration, disappointment, worry or fear. 

The start when everything didn't feel quite right and when bits and pieces finally start to click, struggling to make time for each other, our countless petty arguments that weren't all that important. The late night FB chats, phonecalls and silliness. 

Dear, I really just fell more and more in love with you as each day passed.

I remember us walking around Marina Square with my friends on the day of the Blogshop festival, and you were acting so coolly the whole time hehehe. Ofcourse, I remember how you were sweating like mad while we were waiting to get in, the girl with the American accent where I bought the red cardigan from. The crotchet pullover which you told me you had one as well. 

How you were telling me the place looked different cause you used to go there clubbing. How you tired to hold my hand, how it felt so right yet I just didn't want to rush into anything just yet. How you just walked off and I panicked. How we saw the dreamcatchers and told me you were afraid of them, how I'd asked you to tell me three things you can't stand and I'd tell you mine in a feat for us to get to know each other better.

Who knew marina square was also gonna be the place where you'd meet my mom for the first time and I'd eat with your family and aunt/uncles/cousin too?

Remember our little photo taking session at MKP, how we'd fb chat till late at night. Those were one of my favourite memories, squirming around in bed with all you sweet little messages. Remember how I lost my phone not once but almost lost it twice? How we cabbed to find the girl who found my phone?

I remember studying with you, being the hero in bstats hahaha wink wink and heading to nic's to chill and study. 

All those times we tried to make studying for exams bearable, how I'd always always nag at you to study because you've got so much potential you shouldn't trash. 

Remember when I first visited your gramz? We were having lunch at Clementi mall and you just called her and told her I was coming over. You have no idea how nervous I felt. I remember meeting your parents for the first time I was sooooo scared they wouldn't like me. 

Remember when you first took me to meet Deryl and he shook hands with me? Hahaha yes. It was at Orchard Central's 310.

Remember our first school concert at NYP, then NP's danzation? 

Remember how we'd watch videos on YouTube and I'll forever laugh at the same things and never get sick of the same jokes?

Remember the period of time when I had to work and it was so difficult to meet up? Remember the night we were "supposed to celebrate my birthday 7 days in advance" and you just wouldn't come to me? I remember every single word you told me that night, including all your plans and stuff and how I ruined so many things you said you planned. 

I had dance at Orchard but I felt really shitty and offed my phone feeling completely useless, then I finally gave in and we went to this playground nearby tiong and had KFC after playing with that one little grey cat?

I remember how we went to kusu island and how you wanted to show me the giant turtle but we ended up having a scary ass encounter with the crazy daring monkey. Hahahaha these memories makes me smile. 

Remember 2013 New Year's Day at Clarke Quay and my artificial digital fireworks? Remember the lazer quest at the Science Center, snorkeling at Adventure Cove. The memories of that backwards water slide will NEVER fail to make me smile bee. You're such an adorable puppy HAHAHAHA love you!

I remember we were otp once and just talking about our Little Stan (hey future kiddo if you're reading this, you've already been made plans for since your parents were 17 hehehe) and I just started tearing up because the words you said really touched me right in my heart. How you say you've already made plans and our jokes about who'd wake up to use the toilet first cause we're just sooooo lazy..

On a more recent note, I remember fondly on how we just ended our 3 day camp a few days ago and.. You suddenly said something which made my heart flutter non-stop.. "Beebz", your head was dipped sideways when we were at the traffic light, both of us waiting for the green man to light. I watched you, puzzled, knowing you'd only "B" me suddenly when you're in a serious mood. I stood there, wondering what it is you were about to say. "Don't it feel just like it's only been 5 days?" I felt so happy when you said that :-) I want many many more 5-days with you then. 

I'll love you forever, forever and always. Through the good and the bad and the ugly. Beebz, we'll grow old together and always remember if for happy or sad or whatever. We'll still love each other, forever and always. Okay? :-)

Happy 1 year anniversary dear, it may be the millionth time I'm saying this but.. Honeybeeee, I really really really really really do love you. 

I'm eternally thankful for having you close to my heart and I really pray that if God is above and know how much I want you in my life, to go through everything be it success or struggles all with you. 

If anything should happen, please do know that you have been the best I have expected of you and.. Oh what am I saying? You are just always being the you beyond my expectations (even though I always say I can already anticipate your every move hahaha)

Dear, if for whatever reason this relationship don't work out in the future, (mmm yea probably only if I were to leave this Earth one day), I want to make sure that right now you know that you deserve the best for yourself. Don't you ever feel alone because I'm always gonna be with you, right there in your warm and puffin heart.

You ought to know that the past year has been a blast for me and that if for any reason I cannot spend the rest of your life together, you're still the beebz that if not forever, once did hold a very very very important place in my heart. 

I guess it's redundant and super touch-wood to say this now but it just shows that I love you so much I just want you to be as happy as you can be wherever I may be. 

Thank you for the past year Beebz. God has blessed me so much, you're the greatest gift and I can't ask for anyone better than you Stanley Chia De Xian a.k.a my dearest Beebi sweetie pie kissy monster lil puffin pumpkin pudding fatty cheeks sugarplum boothang le Stanley boy ;) 

No one can ever take your place in my heart Beebz. 

Why? 

Because "Beebz - No replacements found". 

REMEMBER: TOUJOURS GARDER LE SOURIER ;-)